believe in dreams

so i had an amazing dream just like always i have to write about it becuase i twas really nice, aparently my dad was drunk and he called somone to help us for no reason and ... well lets just say that me and my mom went to the supermarket and after we bought everything we had to leave, and before that i saw M and she was there and i was with the shopping cart doing somet stupiud things and i was suprised to see her so i said "what are you doing here? i thought you were gonna go to the coast" and she got close to me and hug me and said baby yeah me and my dad we are gonna go there right now and she said something else , but i dont remember all i remember is that i felt really good inside, i have not felt like this in a loong time ^__^

Recognize me

well today another normal day, weekend aloooone yay finally i can think only about myself i missed being alone, i was really sick of people i dojt know why, probably because thrusday that was the last of a line of annoying days, i was soooooo relieved that day passed it was ANNOyIn.
anyways this weekend = me me me all i neded its a moment of loneliness like before, and ind two days ill be home again,to not talk to anyone haha only play games and draw and train.
hopefully everything will be normal, and i cannot wait to go to be back to school and see pretty girl
of which whom guess what im doing? drawing yep, its stupid but finally i got somet time to do it and you know its kinda disapointing but i do my best, all i hope for next term its to talk to her who knows... when i come back i will hopefully get rid of my lens so i can look normal :P haha and get another piercings like the ones that i want. well besides that i wroke my record on battlefield 2142 haha im exited... not for that but for next term i cannot wait to be ther ( but always, when i feel anxious it doesnt meet my expectatives)... anyways i just want this vacations to be all about me and beeeing aloneee

the Darkest nights

well this week = interesting and annoyingly annoying
well lets start with monday... i was going to get my ears pierced
and while i was sitting with ohter poeple in the blender place mademoiselle M. comes
and i said" what are you doing in theese realms?? you dont normally hang out here"
so she said that she was doing a test, i told her that i was getting my ears pierced
and she was soo psyched about it . we went to the place and she was really exited
since the guy was not there me and her and my sister and her friend walk around the place and
we were talking a lot and she would grab my arm and say funny things
and she was telling me about her life.we bonded like greatly. she was sititng in a bench
and we were talkigng it was awesome, after that i got my ears pierced( which didnt hurt at all)
and she was omg it loooks soooo cooolll so she loved them. today i was again with her really close she woul talk to me and look me in the eyes. i looove looove being with her she is just awesoome
anyways yesterday and today was horrible (exept for the events that happend after we got into school) yep so it is nice to be out of school and im sick sick of my sisters parties and friends i just want to be alone and be myself. i love M. she is awesome , an awesome friend she is just Cool!

humble

well yesterday's party was exhausting like always...
i didnt feel good and i dont know the reason why , lets recap
this week i did the tourism faire... and it was my sister's dancing show
lets skip all of that and focus on thursday.
that day i went to school (only had 6 or 7 hours of sleep not enough) and
i first went to classes normally annyed fbecuase of stupid tests , later that day
i had no idea what was going on , one of my friends was acting really wierd and he felt bad
so he went home and he said that he might not come later. soo i stayed with my sis
and we ate from school' cafeteria and they had reherseal so i was there
all by my self surrounded by girls only! there were around 8 to 10 girls there and i was like emm
i feel kinda akward and good becuase pretty girl was there too
even though she didnt even notice me , soo since my sister was doing something else
and i didnt want to just sit there i went towards grace and told her hey... grace
give me something to do becuase im boooreed. so she did haha and i was doing her
hawaian skirt... so that same evening i was siting during the show my friend came ! and i
was surprised he was there i was happy, anyways he and i went running to buy some
stuff for the girls that they forgot to buy. anyways the show was nice and
pretty girl... look astonashingly pretty like always of course, now i have pictures of
her so my memory wont forget how she looks ....
i feel kinda sick of people right now and i want to go back to
my humble self so thats wahat im going to ttry to do... just wish me luck!

trace all the lines that will lead you back to the surface again

ok yesterday tourism fair... a total waste of time but still i had fun
besides that when i went to sleep i had a wierd dreeam
where i would say hi to pretty girl and she was just walking by and she look at me and
said hi back, and i was doing something else and she said hi to me too and i was really suprised that
she even say anything to me

fatal wounds

i had a wierd wierd dream
i was at school and we were at some kind of ... place that was sourrounded
by a fence and we were talking about something, and i had this great idea
of buying a beer, XX lagger , and i tought that it would be really fun
to drink a little bit duriong school. so i did and i was drinking and somoene
approached me and checked that it was beer and he saiud, you are in trouble mister
so i went underground to some kind of office and while that happend in my toughts i was saying
what was i thinking i can get exppelled forever, and while that was hpapening M apporached and she
was like "what are you doing in a place like this?" and i said well i got into trouble
so she sat by me and chatted a little bit. thats as far as i can remember
all of this ghappend to me like a weeek ago, before i was going to go to her gig.
today i had the tourism fair... and i looked like an idiot... pretty girl was there dacing and looking
as pretty as alwayts, she might saw me or not.. i dont know since im invisible

Though

well this week = normal or boring. nothing fun exept for yesterday.
anyways yesterday i went to a M's gig... and when we were leaving she hugged everyone
and when i was hugging her she told me michhell hug me tight
i dont feel anything in fact i guuess its this weeks emotionless
besides that i doint think she is interested in me nor anything else... like always
i was watching don hertzelfed's video of l'amore and its totally true
they will always hurt me no matter what soo i better abandon any hopes for any related
issue of this... soo not much to say.. twoo weeks before school is over and... who knows if
i am leaving since my parents since to be too busy and never answer the phone... besides that
life is supposed to suck... but i just feel dont anything