If It Means a Lot to You

I recently started a new term. After a long and uneventful vacations i'm finally back to school.
I couldn't be more happy and im looking forward to this new term. Expectations? well
i should said that i expect this term to be drama free compared to last one. Things are completely different compared to the last one as i am no longer in love with A. In regards to myself i couldn't
be more heartbroken to know that my dream will not come true. i prayed with all my heart to God so he could help me with this fundamental pillar in my life. At First he helped me but after a while everything froze down to the worse. I guess it is not in his wishes or maybe I'm not worthy of it. however i completely accept his command and i am at his mercy. Out of nowhere i was able to find A.M. and felt so exited like i have never felt before in my life. i could see my dream becoming true in front of my eyes. It was like everything was orchestrated to happen me finding her. I started to day dream again about what i wanted , and where i wanted to be. in this wonderful dream where i was close to someone so special, someone that i knew that was so unique that i have never seen in any other person. then i started to feedback about the past times when i first met her. i remember the first day i saw her i said to my own self she is a really pretty girl. A year passed and i was fortunate enough to have a class with her . Her attitude and her persona was the thing that amazed me the most. she was what i always wanted in a person. I just felt the need of being by her side, next to someone that was so different from everyone. words cant draw the pictures of my memory. it was something that it was just felt. whenever i would see her she would shine from the crowd. A quiet, shy girl that was humble and kind to anyone , specially me! When i departed the place that i now call home in my heart i always knew she was the only ONE that i wanted to spend the rest of my short life with. Returning to the present time, no matter what girl i liked i always thought about her and how much my heart belonged to her . Unfortunately you cannot say any of that because i am no one to say that or i have no right at all to be writing this words. after i found her again i thought my dream was going to come true, just to think about that futuree that i will fight for and that i would be sharing it with an amazing person it will just make my world rain of happiness. now that i see that such thing will never exist all i can feeel is nothingness in the inside. a great Void is left as i have no dream to fight for.thats it... this is it.... and nooooooo my Lord not at all i always praise youu no matter what and if you this is the fate you have for me , not to make my dream come true. then let it beee , and i would follow blindly i will always love you my God.